5 Things to Prep for With a Newborn

I’m an avid blog reader and have read about the good, the bad and the gross. But nothing truly prepares you for motherhood. So here is my list of the top 5 things I was unprepared for with a newborn.

Breastfeeding. The children in my family were breastfed and there is no doubt that breastfeeding is the healthiest option for your baby. So naturally I was 100% invested and totally gung-ho about breastfeeding for the entire first year. I bought a new breast pump (EXPENSIVE mistake!) and a bunch of lanolin cream. Some women don’t have problems and find the whole thing to be wonderful. Without going into much detail, I had an awful experience. My husband and I came to the conclusion that everyone would be much happier if mommy wasn’t crying over the sink at 4AM holding warm compresses. I was a shirtless and miserable mess and my son was going hungry. We are all so much happier with formula. There is no right or wrong when it comes to choosing between formula or breast milk. This is a personal choice and don’t let anyone make you feel badly about your decision. Only you know what is best for your baby and your family.

Lack of Sleep. Everyone tells you to rest while you’re pregnant because you won’t get much sleep once the baby comes. Holy crap – I wish I had listened. I knew I’d be waking up in the middle of the night for feedings but I had no idea how difficult it would be. Waking up every couple of hours for diaper changes and 45-minute feasting sessions SUCKS. And everyone tells you to sleep while the baby is sleeping. That would be a great idea if you didn’t have to wash 5 loads of laundry a day, try to keep up with cleaning, making dinners and taking care of whatever pets you have. I honestly don’t know how people handle more than one kid. Also, if you’re anything like me, I can’t seem to force myself to relax. I tend to literally collapse when my body has exerted all its energy. If you can make yourself sleep while the baby is sleeping, more power to you. The good thing is, you do get used to it and it’s not so bad after a couple months.

Grumpy Time. Every evening at about 6 pm we are greeted with crying and screaming and all around grumpy baby time. Yes, it’s a solid few hours of pure face screaming. We have found ways of dealing with it – he loves to be sung to and it turns out I have a pretty cool kid. He likes Mumford and Sons, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, FUN, Joni Mitchell, James Taylor and Jeff Buckley. My husband’s co-worker also gave us a DVD – The Happiest Baby on the Block, which has been magical and you should just go ahead and buy that. Trust me.

Errands. You can pretty much say good-bye to running out to the store to just grab a few things. A quick trip to the supermarket has been replaced with either trying to find a sitter, dragging someone to come with you to push the cart or stroller around, sticking the car seat into the cart (which only works if you need a couple small items) or walking around with the baby carrier on your chest. Going anywhere has become a challenge and so much planning is involved. We have been lucky though. My mom comes over almost every weekend so my husband and I get some alone time and have a lot of date night opportunities while Grandma gets her time with the baby. But yeah – your life changes so drastically and sometimes I miss my freedom.

The Love. Since I’m not a heartless b*tch, I knew I’d love my baby. But you just can’t explain a mother’s love. There’s just no feeling stronger and there is no feeling better than holding your child in your arms and gazing into his eyes. I’ve never been the kind of woman that goes nuts over cute babies so I was a little worried what kind of mom I would be. All those hormones have made me more emotional and the love I feel for my child is unexplainable. I don’t think anyone could understand it until they experience it for themselves. If I could, I would move mountains for him. There is literally nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for my child.

I could continue because there is a lot we weren’t prepared for. But I’ve realized that it’s just not possible to prepare for everything and sometimes you just must roll with the punches. Everyone wings it the first time around. Last note – anyone and everyone will suddenly consider it their obligation to offer unsolicited advice and it’s important to remember that you call the shots. Ultimately you should listen to your gut. You will know what is best for your child.

photo credit: iVillage 
Originally published Miss Grown Up

Occupy My Street

At first I wrote it off as a silly protest by a bunch of hippies and unemployed folks that have nothing better to do than ask for ridiculous demands from multi-national companies and our government.

I on the other hand have gone to work every day for the past two weeks, working my ass off to make sure I do a great job. I get paid a decent salary – far less than what salary.com says I should be making but hey – it’s a job and I’m one of the few people that actually enjoy what I do for a living and like the people I work with.

My salary is exactly the same as my older sister when she graduated college – 17 years ago… But I have 8 years of industry experience under my belt and 17 years ago the rent on my sisters apartment was half of what I am currently paying.

But whatever, I’m 27 years old, and I have a full-time job with vacation time, benefits, health and dental insurance. I’ll be done with my MBA in a couple months and I’m wondering what other degree I should go back for once I finish because lets face it – I know I don’t make enough to pay back my student loans.

Just last week we emptied out our pantry and returned as much as we could to Shoprite and A&P because we desperately needed money. Every week it’s a struggle between our bills that continue to pile up. “Okay, well AT&T is generally okay with letting you set up a date to pay later without charging you a late fee but oh Sallie Mae wants money NOW and you can’t get to school or work without your car insurance bill getting paid.” Next week we will revisit AT&T vs Comcast vs PSEG.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is I get it now… I’m working, paying taxes, continuing my education, doing everything I should be doing yet I can’t afford to live. Now let’s get 1 thing straight – I live in a crappy 1 bedroom apartment with my boyfriend and 1 adopted cat. There’s no lavish lifestyle I’m trying to uphold but I’m 27 and I’d like to have a family and children one day but right now – I sold off half my pantry just so I could get toilet paper, garbage bags, cat food, eggs, and dish soap. So having children and buying a house seems like its just impossible.

We don’t go out and spend endless amounts of money; our credit card bill is pretty low compared to most our age and it’s not about living beyond our means. We don’t shop for brand name clothes – we get what we need and we try to get as much as we can that is from thrift stores or exchanging things with our friends so even though it’s not new – it’s new to us. Yes, I am tired. I am frustrated and I do want to see a fundamental change in how things work.

But just like most others – I have no idea how to start or what to specifically ask for. I certainly am not asking for a lot – I’m one of the lucky ones. But seriously – the only reason I’m scared to graduate with my MBA is because I know that on my current salary there is NO WAY I can afford to pay back my student loans. Is it too much to ask for education to be free or at least reasonably priced? Do textbooks every semester seriously need to add up to be over $800?

But whose fault is it? The big evil companies that come out with products I love and use all the time? NO. Is it the government? Maybe but what do I want them to do about it and how could they do something in a way that benefits our country as a whole? I know it’s not just about me and other people in my situation…

I don’t know all the answers and I don’t even know all the questions to ask. But I do know this – I realized now that I am part of the 99%... And I’m not some lazy, uneducated kid with nothing better to do with my time. I’m a soon-to-be MBA grad with 8 years of experience and an empty pantry.

The Secret Social Media Marketing

I've been trying to get an answer to this for a while and I've come to a conclusion...

The question: When you have a blog, facebook, twitter, linked in and you're using these sites - how do you get people to be engaged when you're trying to get your message out there?

The answer: We are all looking at it the wrong way... It's not about getting our messages out there and getting people to talk about us. It's all about them - how to get information on them to make our products or services work better for them.

Should you do the Social Media "thing"?

So here’s my gripe. I always here people talking about whether the social media “thing” is a good thing or if it’s a bad thing. Here’s my problem… Who cares – it doesn’t matter. It just is what it is. When the cell phone became popular did people talk about the positives and negatives? Probably – but I think I only know 1 person who is an adult who doesn’t have a cell phone. In fact, I don’t even have a home phone – just a cell phone.

So here’s the deal. It is what it is and the face book, the twitter, the whatever are all avenues of communication that you can use to communicate with whomever you want.

Yes – if you’re dumb about it and say things that are inappropriate or can cost you your job then maybe you deserve it. Just be smart about it. If you partied at a kegger this past weekend do all of your clients and co-workers really need to know that? Probably not – keep that crap to yourself or to your personal and private facebook page.

Use your blog, twitter accounts, linked in account and public facebook pages to share your knowledge, your thoughts and opinions and most of all information that people will find interesting and helpful. It’s all about being real, authentic, and actually giving a crap about others.

The bottom line… If you really don’t care then don’t bother. It is time consuming and it takes effort to keep up with. But at the same time – if you do care and actually have things to say that can help others then why keep it to yourself? Put yourself out there, position yourself the way you want others to see you. You hold the power in your own hands now.

Is it a good thing? Yes! Should you do it? Yes – if you give a crap.

That’s all.

Happy New Year to all my fellow Jewish Friends.

By The Way - http://thecynicalgirl.com/ Laurie Ruettimann - Amen sister. Read her blog. It's great.

Stop Using Word or Publisher to Design

Seriously... I shouldn't need to be saying this. But you people need to stop designing your own logos, letterhead, business cards - whatever... Unless you are in fact a graphic designer then by all means - design your little heart out. But if you are a lawyer, plumber, or anything other than a designer then STOP doing it! Please! People are going to be nice and say it looks great but I'm going to be real with you. Chances are, it looks like crap. Most of the logos I have seen that people made themselves or had their 14 year old daughters make have just sucked. You'd have no idea what the company is, what your service is, and it says NOTHING about you.

Here's what you want... A brand. You want a brand image so that you stand out from everyone else who does the same thing as you. So hire a real designer who actually has experience and someone who has a strong portfolio. Because ultimately, it doesn't matter whether you like it or not. It matters if it resonates with your customers and you are not your customer.

Okay I'm done.

For now.

Wait. I'm not done.

Image stolen from: 
http://www.bizcardfail.com/2010/07/logo-fail-10-ways-to-avoid-making.html

Follow up - I need to stop making odd faces

I had just got off a skype call so I was in video cam mode. Anyway - I can't believe how many times I said "ummmm" in that first video. And I do know the appropriate times to say "scary" or "scared."

I have no problem admitting that it is kind of weird to be shooting these videos and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. But I like the idea of it because it's much easier for readers to get to know you when they can not only read what you say but also listen and watch you.

I'll be shooting some more video over the weekend. I welcome any advice/comments!

Thanks!

My very first ever video blog entry!

I'm kind of excited about this... Video blogs, vlogs, not totally sure how must people refer to them, either way - it's such a great concept. If you don't feel comfortable writing or simply feel like you would have an easier time showing your personality and style through a video then give it a shot.

The best way to build credibility and position yourself as an expert is to put yourself out there. Don't be scared to share what you know!